Absent Presence

Dear Anna,
It seems like 11 years was a life time ago. Yet somehow I can't believe its been that long. So many things have happened since you left. Some remarkable, some not so remarkable. Last night mom was a guest speaker at a relief society birthday celebration. She did amazing. She spoke of you and read the poem she wrote for you when she spoke at your funeral. So much has changed, yet sometimes I sit and wonder if you would still have had some of the same goals and thoughts you did back then.I was reminded that you wanted to work at Primary Childrens Hospital, Spencer was your hero, you loved to sing, you had a brilliant mind.... I like to think that it would have been rather fitting for you to work at PCMC, I like to wonder how our relationship would be today and what you would be doing. Your absence isn't unnoticed. They say that over time you start to forget, which I think is partly true, but in some ways I think I have more vivid memories of you than I did the day after you left. When I was 13, I knew that I only had 2 more years, just like you. But I got a very special blessing that promised me that I would be able to see you soon. Soon is relative. This last summer, I have never felt like I was closer to seeing you than ever before. It was a total reality for me. I layed in the hospital night after night listening to the hum of the machines and the drip into my veins. With broken kidneys, a swollen and damaged body I thought of you often. The memories and your face were so vibrant and real, yet in the back of my mind I knew it still wasnt "soon". I looked over at my sweet little baby boy and knew that it couldn't be time. He needed me more, and I needed him more.
Since you left, I have learned so much about perspective, so much about love and so much about how truly precious time is. I have learned to love and appreciate the gospel in such a different sense than I think I would have, had you stayed, and nothing ever happened. It's kind of sad to think that you can never really learn things until something is taken from you, or until your world is turned completely upside down. I think that is just the way God intended it to be tho. Sometimes I catch myself thinking about what you have missed, what you never got to do- but I think in reality- you are the one thinkin- "man im glad i dont have to deal with that- or had to go through this that and the other". Life is hard, but good, really good because we have an unmistakeable knowledge.
I really miss you, but I am so grateful for everything you have done for me and helped me with in your absent presence.
I love you.
Love always,
your little sis

Valentines Day

so valentines day has never been one of my favorites. probably because i never really have had a good one- so i have kinda stopped having any expectations- and i just tell myself its just another day. well all day was just a normal day- I finished writing a research paper for Steve, then went downstairs to make dinner. We had a delicious candle lit dinner of sloppy joes, and pasta roni.... dont ask me why that was the meal choice- i am a good cook i promise- but for some reason, that is what i felt like making. and as for the drinks- steve had a mountain dew and i had cranberry juice in fancy goblets. we really are a classy bunch.
well steve had kinda built up valentines day saying that he had been planning something for over a month- so this had me a little excited. then he toldme that it had all fallen apart- so maybe it would happen at a later date. oh well no big deal right? well after our dinner i had a pretty bad tummy ache and after my run that day- my knee was killing me- (so bad i was limping) and i just wasnt feeling up to par. awesome. Steve volunteered to go get me some pepto so i gladly accepted. about 30 seconds later he was back rummaging downstairs. but with no pepto. i had texted my neighbor if she had any-and she said she would check. after some plotting that had to do with a rock outside, money exchanging, and our truck- about 30 minutes later this arrived. :)
steve was pretty sly.... what a sweetie. our valentines day turned out just great. we finished off the night by watching a netflix we just got -Deja vu. pretty dang good. man i love that denzel.
and can i just say that i love flowers? anyway-
turns out G had a pretty good V-day too! He got his first Valentine from the sweet little twinies Evie and Adia that are our neighbors.
I told their mom that there were an awful lot of cookies for just G and that we would probably have to help him out... delish.

December in a nutshell

Please tell me you saw these at Costco right before Christmas..... Seriously? do you SEE the price tag? that is correct- $164.99. I'm sorry- who in their right mind, or even in their wrong mind would even think about purchasing this beauty for that much! I think I would barely take it off their hands for free, They'd probably have to pay me to take it. In my professional opinion- those who are actually crazy enough to make such a transaction- have more money than brains.

About the middle of November we found out that we were not drawn in the lottery to go to the David Archuleta Mormon Tabernacle Choir concert. I was in mourning for the next month, everytime it was brought up- I would get very sad, and quite frankly pretty upset, especially at those who were lucky enough to get tickets. I was half tempted to get on ksl classifieds (my favorite site) and think about purchasing tickets from the stinkin people who were lucky enough to get tickets- and were SELLING them! thank heavens i did not. Wednesday December 15, I was at home doing my usual stuff, and I got a text from the hubster saying "babe, go make a sandwich" (our sanwich makins are next to the fridge) and it was about 2 pm. I texted back saying- thanks for the reminder- but I already ate lunch today (so I did not go make a sandwich) about 20 mins later I got another text saying "babe. go make a sandwich wink wink." at that point I was really confused as to why he would be winking at a sandwich. Yet, I still did not go over and make one. Finally as Mr. S was on his way home from work, he called me and asked if I had made a sandwich, To which I replied no, and asked why he was so adamant that I make a freakin sandwich. He started laughing and said "go look at the bread why dont ya-". The densest person in the world replied " look at the bread." in the most sarcastic tone. " why are you acting so weird? Make a sandwich? look at the bread?" then I turned and saw this

in case you cant see it- but they are tickets to go see David Archuleta with MoTab.

I immediately freaked out, started laughing and kept saying oh my gosh! oh my gosh! needless to say- I was excited.

This is the first successful suprise he has done for me, and boy was it awesome, I think it was better that I am such a dense fool, and that he had to actually get me on the phone to look, that way he was able to hear my reaction.
this is us after the concert walking around to see the lights.

My sweet mother in law's brother is the head honcho at the Heber Creeper, So we got to go to

experience the Polar Express. I think our little lady was new or something- or had never read the story because, it wasnt really the polar express and she didnt really narrate anything... We got to have a cookie and hot chocolate- and sing Christmas songs the entire trip. At the very end- Santa came through each car and spent a little time with each child. It was fun nonetheless, especially being able to spend time with our family, our brother and sister in law had been out of town for what seemed like too long (for us, probably not them- im sure they wish they could have been in paris a bit longer- we missed them lots) we then got to have a sleepover weekend with them at our parents house.

not quite sure how little G thought of the whole train ride- just kidding he actually had a ball. he was so happy and sweet the whole time. except when he pooped all over me on the way to the car. (not a good day to remember an extra outfit- pants-check, jacket-check,socks-check. onesie.....anyone??? anyone? crap. literally. good one mom.)

this one is just for kicks - check out his awesome hair

so- im not very good about taking my camera along with me wherever i go- so this is one of the VERY few pics i got over the Christmas break- this is breakfast Christmas Eve with my cute mommy. We had delicious German Pancakes. Later that day was followed by family pictures with my dads family- which went suprisingly fast! then we headed to my dads for a late lunch then it was off to Rich and Joannes, for an amazing dinner. Joannes homemade rolls never cease to amaze me- (or stuff me) boy oh boy was it tastey. later that night- we enjoyed a little Wii action. Zack did the balance games on the wii fit- and was actually really good! then after Trent and Cristi left, i had to beat steve at some bowling, then he needed to redeem his pride a little- and completely show me up at golf.

Christmas Day let me tell you was nuts. we woke up and went to my dads at 7 am, had a great time with everyone opening all their gifts, then went up to Rich and Joannes at 1030 had a great time opening gifts there, then went to my moms at 130- and dinner at my grammys at 230 all in all it was not a relaxing day at all- but it was fun to be with family.
here are 2 of the few pics I got of G on Christmas because he was taking naps practically the whole day

Grampas little present

wearing a sleeper from Gramma J and a cute little hat from auntie mimi-

Halloween Extravaganza

This years Halloween party was a blast. I think the best part was the spook alley- put on by all the younger kidlins for the older people. Good job Rachel for your awesome planning! It was GREAT!
Unlike last year we decided that the chickens did not need to be dressed up in their halloween garb.
But don't worry, there was plenty of good treats to be had :)

Amanda made her delicous cookies and beautiful caramel apples which were a definite hit
Jenny made her awesome chili
Malia mom made a mad beef and barley soup- oh. my. gosh.
Alana- which is I- made some creepy looking little cake balls- but were quite tastey, and i made cupcakes and the white soup- its a secret- but everyone loved my progresso-modified a bit ;)

And now for the awaited costumes- this year to try and stiffen up the competition- we decided to do a prize worth winning ( nothing against the toilet paper flowers we made last year for the winner)
Side note- I feel super bad i didnt get any pics of the Diotanootie cousins.

Emma the wicked witch of the west (a dead one)
Angela the ninja turtle
Rachel makes a beautiful cleopatria ;)

Laura is a creepy little swamp creature
i feel a song coming on for this one- Shawna was-"my name is stegasaurus.. im a funny looking dinasaur...."
I feel Steve made a perfect "thumper" what a great sport G was the most adorable little "flower" , and I,dont worry, found my costume at the DI-pretty sure the donor was a ten year old boy who, for some reason wanted to be a beaver. with a few modifications, we turned it into Bambi. 2 points for creativity right? right?

Amanda made a beautiful Cinderella- we keep telling her blondes have more fun-i think she may believe us now
Alan Ginger Gerald and the Magnet were a clever bunch of grapes, from the looks on this pic- a confused little bee and the cutest little punkin
Spencer showin a little belly skin-came as either a stripper or a cop. you decide. And Morgan came as a cool lookin pirate-I for one loved his boots.

Little Ann was the stinkin cutest litte witch
Lady Liberty was played very well by Lindamom
Craig and Maliamom were perfectly dressed cruisers.
And now by popular vote - the best costumes went to
the strippercop, the very clever black eyed "p"s, my name is stegasaurus, and lady liberty
1st place went to Shawna the Steg. She won a gift card o a pretty prestigious restaurant- you may have heard of it- they are well known for their meals created by sandwich artists. Go SUBWAY

Thanks to all the wonderful family members who participated in the costume contest, to the awesome/very scary actors in the basement who made the spook alley down right scary that was the best part of the night!, and to everyone for making the effort to make the halloween party a success. Due to difficult scheduling we were very sad to be missing The beef, my man Mason.

Happy Fall

Happy Fall!

A special thanks to my wonderful mother and her craft closet and incredible amount of excess decor.

September was a fun month. We got to go to see my man Brad Paisley. Yes I love him. Dancin around like no one was watching, we looked more drunk than the people who had actually downed 4 or 5 huge beers before Brad even came on. Definitely had a GREAT time with eachother. I love that when we are all together we can just be crazy without any inhibitions.

For your enjoyment- or mine rather because i think im slightly obsessed with this little one.

I love this time of year! stay tuned later this month for the annual stout family Halloween Extravaganza! Costumes are going to be awesome.

Mother's Day

Happy mothers day to the most wonderful women in the world! I love you with all my heart and look up to you all so much. I couldn't ask for any better of role models to follow. I am grateful for your examples and hope to be able to do as good a job as you all have done for me.

KSL

So- i've never really been big on pulling pranks for april fools day- but the night before the blessed day- Steve and i were laying in bed laughing our heads off (maybe we thought it was so funny because it was so late)but we were crackin up about how funny it would be to put my family's belongnings up for sale on KSL giving the respective owners phone number. I can only imagine what the phone calls sounded like. Let me just tell you- i am the worst liar in the world so it was very hard to be able to make it last an entire day-let alone a few hours. here are some of the things we posted for a steal of a deal.

My dads lovely and prized posessioned chickens ( which i got an email for just moments after being posted ) "why do they want you to get rid of them? that's sad. they are beautiful looking hens.. and the salt Lake City council approved the ordinance allowing backyard chickens in salt lake city, yesterday. that's too bad that your kids don't want them . "
Apparently they got calls nonstop from people wanting them

Gotta love facebook- this is what the status' of a few of the owners put up -(less than an hour of being posted which means they were getting calls)
Amandas beloved Beyonce
Whoever is trying to sell my car on KSL, very funny, but Beyonce is not for sale.



Shawnas prize winning intergalactic Saturn



Masons dazzling prizm



Lauras buckin bronco camry
Whoever put my car on KSL is HIL-ARIOUS


Spencers babies- Brandy and Monica (yes those are their real names-dont believe me? check their tags)
Spencer J Stout My pugs are NOT for sale and NOT being given away... Whoever is posting these KSL ads...guuurl I will cut you....oh yes I will


Paul and Courtneys baby- i mean their dog Maui

within the first 5 minutes they were up- laura and masons cars had already gotten calls on them- somehow they immediately knew it was us! (freakin bad week to not have my phone) Steve started getting texts asking if it was him but he just played it off like he had no idea what was going on-here is a conversation i had with laura on Gchat only moments later (since i dont have my blasted phone and internet is my only form of communication with the world)
Laura:are you part of this sham?
Alana:Sham? what are you talking about?

Laura: selling all our stuff on ksl- the chickens, the cars... i know tim is behind this but i think he had help from the inside

Alana: yeah what the crap is that all about? Our 4wheeler got posted too! that is hilarious tho- dads chickens!
(i played it off pretty well...)

i tried to blame it on tim- saying he would deny it to his grave- so that it would get them off my back (for those of you who dont know tim- he is a very hilarious, prank loving cousin of ours who tends to get away with the most ridiculous things in the world.)

Anyway Dads chickens and Spencers dogs already had like 65 views before it had even been on for 30 minutes!.... i love this site. not only did it make for a good little trick for April Fools Day- but it also has brought many a sweet thing to our house- we have bought and sold tons of stuff on it. great way to get rad stuff for very affordable! if you ever question the power of advertising on ksl- if this hasnt proven it to you...nothing will.

Christmas Miracle

This year we are so excited for Christmas as you can see we have 3 Stockings hanging on our fireplace....um thats because Steve and I will be expecting a little one early this summer. WE ARE SO EXCITED. I have my first ultrasound in a week, and I will be about 12 weeks along. This year money is a little tight, so creative we have been with all the gifts we are giving. It has been fun to make all the gifts and spend time making them look awesome. Anyway- that is all for our exciting news post. LOve you all!

Christmas Music Woes

Three weeks ago-yes THREE; the doctors office that I work in decided it would be a good Idea to keep the radio station on FM 100… although I love the music that is normally on it- they one day suddenly decided it was time to start only playing Christmas music-and yes- its Christmas music- I will not be politically correct, to me it is not Holiday music, or kwanza music-it is Christmas music.anyone offended can get off your high horse. Anyway back to my thoughts- i have learned that in the Christmas music world, there is not much variety. It is the same ten or twelve songs sung by various artists (as they call themselves)- men or women, black or white, trying to somehow make the song unique to them by singing it slow and drawn out, or as I call it- noodling… Where they go up and down up and down on the same word. Or sometimes they even try to jazz it up- making it sound like you’re in an elevator in new York or Las Vegas. All I have to say- is thanks to these eager beavers, I have now officially turned into the Grinch. Tomorrow is thanksgiving and I am already sick and tired of Christmas music. No- I refuse to have the Christmas spirit whenever the station is changed to FM 100, I will not. But other than that-My Christmas spirit is definitely on a high. I am done Christmas shopping and just about done wrapping everything. My house is decorated so cute this year. I Love Christmas time. Except for crazy Christmas music, and the people who think its a great idea to start polaying it the day after halloween.

Costume Party-Scroll to the bottom for a slideshow

Well.... as you know people tend to get a little crazy about their animals, especially when it comes to dressing them up and buying them jewelry and putting them in their purses and what not. Well Halloween is no exception. Amanda my sister got our brother spencers dogs- Brandy and Monica (yes those are their real names...they are black twin pugs) costumes- one was a princess and the other an angel. As Amanda and I were planning this party, we decided that it would only be fitting to make costumes for my dads beloved chickens. Yes- you read right, chickens. This turned out to be quite the ordeal, after trying to coax the little feathered beasts out of their pen, we ended up chasing them thru the rose orchard just trying to get them to come get their costumes on. Apparently they werent as excited for their outfits as I was- I spent quite some time on them....Here are some pictures of the little terrors.


The pioneer

The Chef

The Princess

The Pope

c

The Princess and the Pope.... (Sounds like it should be some sort of politically correct disney movie that is trying to get people to accept that the pope should be able to fall in love and get married or something right?)

We had all sorts of festivities going on that night, we had a doughnut on a string eating contest... which was hilarious- we had a little kid bracket and an adult bracket. I think the award "most heart" should go to Paolo and mom. Hopefully I can get the video from moms camera so you can watch how awesome it was. Then we had bobbing for apples, a bean bag toss into a giant punkin, and a costume contest. The three runners up were Prince charming (spencer, Edward Cullen (mason, And Craig the boy scout. Mason by vote received the lovely bouquet of roses... toilet paper roses. Well to top off the night we watched an all time favorite- Hocus Pocus.
Tonight is the real halloween- so hopefully i will have some more fun things to post- we have some fun plans with friends. i will be sure to take and post pictures. Oh and because i still dont have this blog thing totally figured out- scroll to the very bottom of the page and you can see a slide show of all the amazing costumes.

Punkins!

Halloween is here! well almost- and you know what that means? i get everyones left over candy from for my birthday the day after! yay for my little cavity filled presents. just kidding. no-i came home on saturday night with two punkins- yes punkins.... and told steve that we were going to do some carvin for our saturday night festivities. so we did. and it was fun. here is how it went.

Its halloween time! and steven loves to carve his punkin with care


lots of care. he has a great knife.perfect for little cutting- perfectionist cutting.

i did an owl- and this is the knife i had to use for the carving fest. in the day light - that doesnt even look close to an owl. sad. well steven is a perfectionist, and i am not. and steve had taken about an hour to do his crazy faced punkin.... i finished my owl in less than 15 minutes im sure, because i fell asleep with my face in the goop while steven worked with care on his. when i awoke from my seedy, stringy faced slumber, i was so sad to look at my finished my punkin- cuz i didnt think it looked like an owl at all. and his of course looked perfect. but dont you fret- once we got those candles in them, mine looked just as cool as stevens. it was great. i have decided candles are the new generation transformers.thank you candles. you transformed my deformed punkin into a owl!
this is the owl, my owl. now it really looks like one.

and this is steves crazy face

and crazy face and owl fell in love. kind of. well actually- they just wanted to take a picture together. the end.