my last chemo treatment! yesterdays session was the strongest dose- but thankfully the last. According to the labs and my wonderful doctors i am responding wonderfully and wont have to do this anymore! Today I have been throwing up bile, had a poundng headache, and had super crazy dreams while I have tried to rest. I have also had the sweetest moments laying on the couch just staring into the precious eyes of my sweet little mister. He has gotten me through this. He has saved my life, my attitude, and my spirits. My sweet husband is going to school and working crazy amounts so that I dont have to go to work, so that I can recover, so that I can be what i have always dreamed to be- a mother. I dont deserve him.
I am a real person. I have good days. I have hard days. I am happy because I choose to be happy. I am a strong person, I am independent, I am a very capable person. But sometimes my body doesnt allow me to be the person I know I am. Frustrating? extremely. One of my major weaknesses is admitting that I am human. That I am not invincible.
Yesterday while I was in the cancer institute at the IMC hospital, one of my very best friends spent 4 hours sitting with me. laughing with me. eating a thousand dollar sack lunch with me, and sacrificed hours at work to be with me. This person loves me unconditionally, knows my weaknesses and my strengths and helps me be a better person.
Yesterday my mother took my baby boy from my arms, and watched over and protected him, catered to his needs, loved him up, and bonded with him while I couldnt be there for him.
Yesterday my mom took care of the things i needed to get done- because I couldnt. .
Heavenly Father has sent angels to watch over me. He sent people who are willing to listen to the spirit and answer my prayers. To show me that He is aware of my needs, that He is listening to my prayers and ultimately His love for me. I cant do Everything. I want to be that type of person. The type that listens and ACTs on the promptings of the spirit. The type that could be an answer to someones quiet pleading to Heavenly Father.
I have said this- and I still stand by it- I truly believe that an attitude of gratitude produces true happiness. I have much to be grateful for, I have many blessings- the greatest blessing I can think of right now- is for the wonderful people in my life. And this is why I am Happy
Alana i absolutely love this!! You are so inspiring and i loved reading this:) Congrats on your last treatment and i am so happy everything is going well for you! You and your cute family deserve it! love you!
ReplyDeletechemo!!? what the? what do you, or i should say did you have? I'm glad you did your final treatment! I hope you feel better and all is well! xoxo
ReplyDeleteYay! I'm glad you are done with the chemo. And, yes, you are inspiring. I need to be a better person. Thanks for helping me keep my own selfish attitude in check.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad this is your last treatment and you'll have them all out of your way. You remind me what a blessing life is!
ReplyDeleteGreat post. Yea for being done with chemo!
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